Is An Eye An Eye?

Recently, my husband and I were driving over the bridge when I saw what quite possibly may have been the biggest seagull in existence, which brought about the following conversation, and the question – is an eye an eye?

Me: “Holy . . .”

Husband: “What?”

Me: “That.” Pointing. “That’s the biggest seagull I’ve ever seen. I thought it was a pelican at first.”

Husband: “It’s not that . . . wait. Did you say seagull?”

Me: “Yes!”

Husband: “There’s no way that was a seagull.”

Me: “Don’t wreck the car over it.” Because now he’s looking in the rearview trying to get another glimpse. “But that was totally a seagull.”

Husband: “That was way too big to be a seagull.”

Me: “But it was. That’s the kind you have to protect your eyes from.”

Husband: “You don’t have to protect your eyes from a bird.”

Me: Looking at him in disbelief. “You’re kidding, right?”

Husband: “No.”

Me: “But you are.”

Husband: “But I’m not.”

Me: “Have you never seen the movie The Birds?”

Husband: “That’s a movie.”

Me: “Doesn’t mean it’s not based on fact.”

Husband: “But it’s not.”

Me: “How can you say that? Have I taught you nothing? Of course, you have to watch your eyes around birds.”

Husband: “Birds don’t eat eyes.”

Me: “What about vultures?”

Husband: “That’s different. Other birds don’t do that sort of thing.”

Me: “Seriously? What about crows?”

Husband: “Crows don’t eat meat.”

Me: “Crows eat meat. Crows totally eat meat. Unless the individual crow is a vegetarian. But crows are carrion feeders.”

Husband: Looks at me and decides not to argue because I know these things.

Me: Smirks because I know these things.

Husband: “But we’re not talking about crows. We’re talking about seagulls. And they don’t eat eyes.”

Me: “They eat fish eyes.”

Husband: “But that’s different.”

Me: “How?”

Husband: “Because it is.”

Me: “An eye is an eye.”

Husband: “An eye isn’t an eye.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure that it is. By its very definition, an eye is an eye.”

Husband: “There’s too much traffic, I have to concentrate.”

Me: “Fine. But if that thing’s around when we get out of the car, I’m protecting my eyes. One of us has to be able to see to drive home.”

Husband: “Hmph.”

This is a picture I took of a different seagull, but seriously – would you trust this bird? Look at that beak!

At that point, I almost hoped the world’s largest seagull would follow us to the parking lot so I could see if my husband would protect his eyes or not, but, unfortunately, it didn’t.

AND my husband still claims that worrying about birds going after your eyes is an irrational fear. I shall call his people Team Foolishly Trust The Birds.

My people shall be called Team Hitchcock (it has a better ring to it than Team DuMaurier and to be honest this is one of the instances where the movie was better than the story).

Which team are you?

8 thoughts on “Is An Eye An Eye?

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  1. The movie was better than the story, except that movie seemed to only be one village while the story was that they took over the entire world…And, sorry, I love the movie, but I do not protect my eyes from birds 😉 I mean, if I’m dead already, sure, they might go for them, but if I’m alive? lol Some of the topics we bring up while driving… I hope you get a photo of the world’s largest gull the next time you see it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True, and I really liked how the radio transmissions in the story added to the feelings of suspense and dread (it has to have been over two decades since I read it and I still remember that part). I have a long history of bad interactions with birds – I still have a scar from when a pelican tried to take my finger when I was younger – so there’s no way I’m trusting them with my eyes. I just don’t trust them! 🙂

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      1. once bitten, twice shy… I can see why you stay away from birds. And I’m sure the sand hill cranes you posted about the other day could do even more damage than a pelican…

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This 80 year old grandma shooed a turkey off the middle of a major road blocking traffic for a mile. Even a turkey (who had a reputation for doing exactly that before) knew better than to mess with a grandma’s determined eye.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh my gosh I spat out my coffee! This is to funny! I have never thought to protect my eyes from the sea gulls (and I live at the ocean) but I do have a nickname for them with all their scavenging, sea rats :p ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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